I have never been a fan of facebook in fact I dislike it incredibly but have felt I need to share these things to heal from my own struggles and hurts and move on. Facebook shows our best moments but does it show our worst moments, our flaws? We all have flaws, no one is perfect, and we all to some degree hid behind a facade. My hope is if I can be courageous enough to share my weakness, my flaws, and my hard lessons that have cost me happiness, then hopefully I will encourage others to be honest with themselves and others and quit trying to impress others by a facade of perfectism, It does not exist. Lately my quest has been learning to be comfortable in my own skin, how many of us can truly say that. I cannot! This is a growing thing for me, to show I am human. I never knew how hard it would be vulnerable to the public. Let’s learn to be real, flaws and all. If we can all learn this maybe we can change the perception of beauty from being superficial to a much deeper depth of beauty we all possess which includes not being perfect and being able to accept our faults and weakness so we don’t hid them but can grow from them and from others instead of belittle another. Judge me if you must.
Comparison Trap: How many of us have falling into the trap? Well, all of us have, its human nature. We all have fallen into this at some time or another, whether it’s been with another person, someone’s lifestyle, someone’s life etc. Ask yourself this, have you ever won? If you say yes, don’t fool yourself, this trap does not have a win-win, you will never win at this. If you think you have won, were you comparing yourself to what you see and assume? or by what is in a person’s heart and soul or behind their closed doors? Even if you are in a better place, you are not better, you have not learned to be humble. If we compare with what we see which usually is what the comparison trap is based off, it’s never a fair comparison. It will eat you alive, rot you from the inside out, make you bitter, make you feel not good enough, you will eventually lose sight of who you are and what things you have right here and now that you should be grateful for. What we see on the outside is from our perspective only. A person’s soul you will never see unless you seek the opportunity to know that person, what makes them tick, their strengths, their weakness’s, their flaws, their experiences, and what has shaped their lives. After all, we were all born beautiful but not the type of beautiful you see from the outside but what you see from the inside. We are not upgrades or downgrades, better or lower, we are all people with feelings, passions, hurts and regrets. Some of us allow our experiences, pasts, hurts and regrets, to eat away at the beauty we were all born with and become bitter and ugly but that doesn’t make anyone better or less. If we are able to find our own beauty within, it is our jobs to share that with those who have become bitter and ugly within, help them find the light they once had and lost, after all we have all had our dark moments. It is not our job to judge or treat others unkindly regardless of how they treat us. We are to be kind, loving, caring, and be an example of true inner beauty no matter how ugly the world can be. Don’t compare your life or yourself to anyone else, you will never win, you will become bitter and ugly as you will always find that someone somewhere has something you do not but there are also others who are doing the same thing in what they see in you. Embrace you for you, not what others think, say or make you feel after all that is from their perspective and they don’t know what’s in your heart and soul. Change their perspective by being you even when they try to break you. I have one fallen victim to this comparison, I have learned the hard way. I have felt the hurt it so deeply inflicts upon ones soul and how it can bring the ugly out without even seeing it till you have so much hurt you can’t seem to move as you are paralyzed in the fear of “never being enough” and feeling hopeless. Well we are all enough, we just have to be willing to embrace that, no one can take that from you unless you give them the power to do so, because people’s judgement and perception is just that, powerless.
You are in control of your life, if you don’t like something about your life, work to change it all the while being grateful for where you are at and how far you have come. The change you want to see in your life will not happen overnight, it may be months, years, decades, but do not lose hope, just push forward and strive to change those things, celebrate the little steps and lessons learned. Life is not meant to be easy, life is hard, find those things in life that bring you joy and hold them dearly, embrace that you are not perfect, and you have the power to change the things you want to change and cherish the things you love about you. Don’t let anyone take those things away from you even someone’s path or values conflict with it. If it’s important and a unique quality you possess, embrace it.
Whatever you do, don’t ever fall into the comparison trap, it’s a lonely hopeless world and it’s a game you will never win. Embrace everyone for their differences, their flaws, their strengths, their weakness, their mistakes, their lessons learned, their knowledge, their hope, their ugliness (after all we all have a little bit of that too). Never wish you were someone else or had someone else life, it’s never as we perceive and unless you know the depths of someone’s heart and soul it will never be a true comparison. We all have room for the growth, compassion, love, humbleness, grace and forgiveness. Don’t steal someone’s happiness because you can’t find yours instead try to learn something from that person, after all they just might be the light you asked for.